I’ve had a lot of time these past few days to think about my year. It’s been a hell of a year.  I uploaded an Instagram post that somewhat summarizes my feelings but I left out a lot of details. Normally, I’ll write my thoughts down in my journal and then continue life as normal. This past year over on my Instagram, I started mixing in my normal everyday life with my constant search of wifi and adventure and I was surprised by the responses.  Ya’ll are genuinely interested in my life. I get more responses and feedback when I talk about what Netflix marathon I just completed than about how to get to a particular destination. 

I’m not sure why, to be honest. However, instead of focusing on why, I’ve just decided to give you more. I want you guys to get to know me better. I think in some weird way, it’s going to help me get to know myself better. Maybe it’s a good idea, maybe it’s a terrible one. Whatever the case is, I think I’m writing this post more for me than for you. 

Ok, here goes nothing. This was 2019. My year is broken down, month by month: 

January: Lost 

Lost would be the perfect word that describes how I felt when I started the 2019 year. I had an amazing weekend with some friends and my sister in a small beach town called Papudo. We partied all night and I think it was one of the first times that I unplugged my brain. I just focused on the fun and not this dooming worry that I constantly had. Worry about what? A lot. Everything, actually. 

I completed my first full year back to Chile and in a way, all my great ideas turned into a huge failure. 2018 failed. Today in Chile wasn’t working out the way I wanted, I wasn’t making enough money, I didn’t like my clients, I was doing a lot of things for free, the debt kept on piling up, I couldn’t move past a stupid relationship that I didn’t even want in the first place, the list goes on. 

I was also looking for regular “9-5” jobs because I honestly didn’t know what else to do. I went to 15 interviews within 2 months (December & January) and there wasn’t a single offer. I was frustrated. I was angry, I felt alone, I felt lost. 

What I learned: Patience is not my strongest quality. I need to work on that more. 

February: Made a Crazy Decision

I started to think about the reasons why I came back to Chile in late 2017. I found one of my personal notes that I wrote in my journals. It was a “tentative plan” of what the next couple of years would look like. The note said that I wanted to spend just one year in Santiago and then I was going to take Today in Chile by region so that I can work, travel, and truly understand the ins and outs of Chile. I wanted to be a digital nomad.  I was trying to figure out a good reason why this plan wouldn’t work or at what moment I gave up on this idea. I had spent the year in Santiago and, according to this note, it was time to go. So I woke up one morning and said: “ok, it’s time to go”. It took me about 3 weeks to pack, sell, organize everything that I had with me. I put 5 suitcases into storage and kept two backpacks for me. My “babe” is a 60-liter backpack with all my clothes and things I needed to live. The second bag is “the office”, which is a 30-liter backpack filled with everything I need to work; my computer, my cameras, so many cables, my journal, and a book. 

What I learned: Follow your heart, dreams, and crazy ideas. Be semi-responsible but just go for it. Especially when you have nothing to lose. 

March: Let the Adventure Begin 

My new adventure started on March 11th. Picking a destination was the easy part. I knew I wanted to start in the South of Chile. The weather was still good and Pucon was calling my name for a while now. I only heard good things about this small town in the 9th region of Chile. One of the things I knew that I wanted to do was volunteering while traveling. A friend of mine recommend worldpackers to me and I knew that this was going to be a great tool to have. Since I work freelance, income is extremely unsteady and I wasn’t sure how this digital nomad lifestyle was going to play out, worldpackers was my fall back. As soon as I arrived in Pucon, I fell in love with the place. The hostel that I arrived at was awesome. My first volunteer experience was wonderful. I had a lot of fun. I originally wanted to stay for just two weeks but I decided that I wanted to stay a bit longer. So I did. 

At the same time. Today in Chile was facing a huge problem. TLDR: I had partnered up with two other people to create TIC into a digital platform for travel information for Chile in English. There weren’t enough resources, the expectations were too high, and things eventually didn’t work out the way we wanted to. I wanted to change it but they wanted out. They wanted their money back, I explained how that is not now investments works. I offered to buy their parts for the face value of the site. They got upset. They tried to sue me. That didn’t work. They got pissed. I got pissed. Correction: More than pissed; I was livid. I couldn’t believe that this failed. I failed. I didn’t want to accept it. I kept on going over and over in my mind about how I was going to fix this situation. I didn’t want to let it go. So instead, Today in Chile went silent. 

What I learned: Sometimes it’s best to be silent and time will give you the answer. 

April: Riding the Wave

April started with a visit from friends in Pucon. I took the week off from my digital nomad life and I was just a tourist. I needed a break. I was still pissed. We explored the region and had the best time. I spent about two more weeks in Pucon by myself. It was just what I needed to keep the focus on my clients. The owner of the hostel had to go to Santiago for some personal business and told me that he was going to close the house. I thought he was going to ask me to leave and instead he asked me if I wouldn’t mind staying around. All I had to do was feed the cat. Achuzina, the cat, and I became good friends during my time there and I really liked Pucon so that was a pretty easy decision to make.

It was eventually time for me to leave because I had an invitation for a Press Trip to my favorite destination in Chile; Aysen Patagonia. It would be my second invitation to the region and I was over the moon excited about it. This time around we focused on the small town Villa O-Higgins. What a beautiful place. I wrote a lot about the place and you can read that here. 

What I learned:  When things are good, stick around. They might get better. 

May: Surprise and More Surprises

The press-trip left me re-energized and motivated to pick up where I left off with Today in Chile. I was still radio silent but I got back to writing. My fingers couldn’t type fast enough. I was back to editing videos, I was inspired. I felt good. I wrote so much that month but I didn’t upload anything. Even though I was happy about writing again, I still didn’t know how I wanted to move forward with Today in Chile. I wasn’t mad about the situation anymore but I still wasn’t sure what I should do. 

When you don’t have a lot of plans, the universe has a way of bringing plans or things into your life. I unexpectedly went to Santiago. And during that short weekend stay, I had a great time. I saw my friends, celebrated birthdays, and even ran into people that I hadn’t seen in years. It was that last 10% of re-charged that I needed to be at 100%. 

During this month, I had a week-long road trip planned with a friend to explore Chiloe. I had already been but I love the place so much that there were still some pending destinations. I figured I’d go to Puerto Varas and hang around while I waiting for her and this trip. In that waiting around, I was invited to co-write an e-book. About Chile. It was such an awesome feeling to write about your favorite place and get paid for it. That just completely fell onto my lap and I’m so grateful that it did. It was very challenging and fun to do it. You can download it here. 

What I learned: Let life happen. 

June: Turning 32

My dad came for a visit and we had an awesome 15 days together. We had a family road trip with my uncle and cousin to the Elqui Valley and we spent a lot of time with my family during those 15 days. It was sweet. He celebrated my birthday with me, which is the best gift that I could ask for. He is my favorite person. It was a slow month, nothing too exciting until I made it to La Serena. That’s when the best month of the year happened. 

What I learned: I was just reminded how loved I am. I have an amazing family and wonderful friends. 

July: Surprises 

I’m sure that you already know this about me, but I am a very social person. Too social. I love being around people, exchanging life stories, and just general people-watching. I love the way people interact with each other, discovering people’s personalities. I also love a good surprise. The day I arrived at La Serena, I got my first surprise. I had met this lovely Australian, Jean, while I was in Puerto Varas during my last few days in town. She was chatty like me, had been traveling the same amount of time as me, and loved wine just like me. We instantly became friends. When we said goodbye in May, I had casually mentioned that she should head up to La Serena to watch the solar eclipse and that I would be there volunteering at a hostel. I completely forgot about it, to be honest. 

30 minutes into my stay in La Serena, who do I see sitting on the couch reading a book? Jean. She didn’t tell me, she decided that it would be more fun to surprise me. And I loved it. Along with Jean, the team of volunteers that were at the hostel during the eclipse was just epic. Joao, Floppy, Gustavo, Augstina, and everyone else became my family. I was waiting for a moment like this. To just click with people. It was a crazy platonic love that we all had for each other and it was just beautiful. The city of La Serena is just alright, but because of the people I met in that city, made it one of my favorite destinations this year. 

And the solar eclipse? That was another surprise that I wasn’t expecting to have such an effect on me as it did. I knew that they were powerful and I went to La Serena because I wanted to live the experience of an eclipse. I cried. I cried hard. For like a week. I let go of so many things that were holding me down; old relationships, bad friendships, failures, and finally came to acceptance of who I am and where I was at that moment. I’m getting teary-eyed just writing this. But honestly, it was a moment that I will never forget and if I have the chance to relive a solar eclipse, I would go to the ends of the earth to do it. Eclipse-chasers, I get you. 

What I learned: The universe has a way of bringing the right people into your life. 

August: Roller Coasters 

I decided that I wanted to live in Valparaiso. It’s a destination that always made me nervous. Nervous for good and bad reasons. Valparaiso is a colorful city that is filled with colorful people. I guess that’s the nicest way of putting it. People who live in port towns are rough, hardcore, and intense. Everything about these port towns gives people a feeling of love or hate. My first weekend in Valpo was spent on a press trip with some travel amigas who also blog and then I went to another hostel to volunteer for just two weeks.

The first week in that hostel I was volunteering with was absolute hell. I was living with a drunk Uruguayan guy and a young Brazilian couple who broke up and got back together on the daily. Not kidding. The worse part? We all slept in the same room. Yea, it just takes a minute to imagine what that was like. I was nervous, anxious, and never had a good night’s sleep. After a weekend of true hell, I told the owner: they leave or I leave. In that nightmare, I met Geraldine from Colombia. She was my light and the only reason why I stayed. We were both in a super complicated situation and we supported each other.  Once they left, Geri and I decided to stay and give Valpo a second chance. 

After that, I fell in love with Valparaiso. It was the first destination of this adventure that I could definitely see myself living in. It’s close enough to Santiago that I was able to travel to for important things, like the birth of my kiwi baby Ferran. I started to see the city for what it was. Yes, there is a bunch of drunks and people with drug problems. But it’s also full of hardworking people who are just trying to live their lives as honest and as peaceful as they can. 

What I learned: Even if you’re nervous about something, see it through. It might surprise you. 

September:  Thirsty

Another month in Valparaiso and this month I was thirsty. In all sense of the word. I partied a lot. I drank a lot, and I had a lot of fun. Work-wise, I was liking the clients I had and I was slowly getting back into the rhythm of blogging and uploading. Today in Chile was slowly getting back to where I wanted but I still didn’t feel 100%. It was better than not uploading but I wasn’t consistent. That can break a blog. I Spent my first dieciocho, Chile’s independence day, in Santiago. It was long, it was fun, it was intense. A whole week completely unplugged. I remember waking up one day, wishing to eat lettuce and never wanting to drink a “terremoto” again. I needed a detox. 

What I learned; I’m 32, not 23. That was rough. It was fun, but maybe there are other ways to have the same fun. Don’t do that again.  

October: the Hardest Month

Looking back, this was the worst month of the year. I was closing a project with a super complicated and needy client and I arrived in San Pedro de Atacama. Personally, I prefer the south of Chile. The north is just as beautiful and filled with things to visit but the people are different. It could be just my personal experience, but my personality did not mix well with the north. The only time I was happy was when I was alone or when I was with Jean. Yes, Jean showed up to San Pedro we spent the last two weeks of October together. She was my lifesaver. 

So what happened? Several things. I said yes to the complicated and needy client because I felt that I had already invested so much of my time that I couldn’t say no. At the same time, the hostel owner (where I was working) turned out to be a huge machista piece of garbage. Yea, I didn’t have time for some insecure little boy to try and play mind games. So I left. 

Then, October 18th happened. Chile experienced huge protests and social uprising due to a number of injustices that the country has been facing for more than 30 years. I had so many mixed emotions about this whole situation. I support the protests because I truly believe that the system needs to change. However, I don’t support extreme violence. Here comes the but. BUT; after so many years of being ignored, people crack. They want to be heard and unfortunately, this was the only way the government was going to listen. People are desperate, people are tired. I get it. 

What I learned: My values, beliefs, personality was challenged, tested, and made very clear to me. If the beginning of any relationship is rocky, complicated, or filled with grey areas, DON’T INVEST ANY MORE TIME. Just walk away. It’s not worth it. You’ll be OK. Seriously. 

November: 3 Countries 

Yes, I was in 3 countries during this month. 4, if you count Chile. On Nov. 1, Jean convinced me to come with her to Cordoba, Argentina. With everything going on in Chile, travel was a bit complicated. It wasn’t impossible, but it definitely was complicated. During that week, any bus route that was longer than 6 hours within Chile was canceled. So any neighboring city was out of the question. Prices for national flights skyrocketed and everyone was telling me to avoid Santiago if it was possible. So Jean’s invitation to Argentina was my best option. 

I spent about 3 weeks visiting Salta, Cordoba, Villa Carlos Paz, and Villa General Belgrano. The prices are great, the cities are beautiful, the people where lovely, the food was good. The best empanadas in Argentina are in Salta. The first 10 days where with Jean and then the rest was solo. We had so much fun together. What a beautiful person. I’ve never really wanted to visit Australia, but now thanks to Jean I can’t wait to go and visit.  

I needed to get back to Santiago by the end of the month because I had an amazing family vacation in Mexico and the Dominican Republic waiting for me. My mom completed her first Iron Man race in Cozumel. What an amazing experience to watch humans do something that may seem impossible to others. I was so proud of her. After that, I went to the Dominican Republic for two more weeks to spend time with my grandmother and the rest of my mother’s side of the family. 

What I learned: Family-time is extremely important. I need to spend more time with my family in 2020. I miss them a lot. 

December: Tranqui

I spent two days in Santiago and came immediately to Puerto Varas. I came for work and my plan was just to stay for 3 weeks. Remembering what I learned in Pucon; if I feel good in a place, stay. It might turn out better than you think. So that’s what I did. I stayed. I felt “tranquila”. It was my first Christmas and new years far from friends, family, and anything that I was familiar with. It was different but I wasn’t alone. I spent Christmas eating BBQ with a Swiss, an Italian, a Brazilian, and a Colombian. Homesickness hit me hard for New Years’. I was surrounded by so many people from different parts of the world who were in the same travel situation as me. It was fun but I don’t think I want to do that again. 

Remember that needy and complicated client? Yea, we broke up and it was the biggest relief of the month. Respect is the most important thing for any relationship and when that’s gone, it’s time to end things. I don’t want to go into it because it’s long and complicated and things are still wrapping up in January. Maybe next year, I’ll tell you that story. 

What I learned: Feeling “tranquila”, at peace, is the most important thing to 

Going into 2020

I’m changing everything. I’m finally cleaning house. I’m only keeping the things that add value to my life. Everything else, chao. I’m taking this mindset into my work and in my personal life. I also made new goals for myself that focus on my weak points. I’ll be sharing them with you throughout the year on my Instagram. 

Work-wise:

Freelance isn’t easy and I’m not walking away from it. Waking up on the 1st, I realized that it was obvious that I needed to change the way I work and the type of work that I do. I still want to focus on creating content but in a different way. I’m super focused. 

Blogs:

I currently have 30 articles sitting in my folders waiting to be uploaded. I’m embarrassed to write this, but I don’t care. I need to upload them. I’m going to upload them. I have 7 videos waiting to be edited. I have over 400 pictures that need to be filtered, organized, and edited. Eventually, some of those pictures also need to get uploaded. Challenge accepted. 

Personal:

I’ve let go of a lot of friends this past year. Some I expected because I felt it was our time and others that hurt me deeply. This was definitely a year that I learned a lot about what I want in friendships; what I value, and what I’m willing to deal with. I also appreciate so much the ones that stayed around. The ones who supported me when I was feeling my lowest and the ones who cheered me on when I couldn’t see the finish line. Thanks to them, I am able to see my worth. I’ve realized that I need my family more in life. I currently have a great relationship with both my parents, something that I couldn’t say a couple of years ago. I love where we are at right now. I wish I could say the same about my sister, but I know that will happen in due time. 

I’m sure you’re curious about my love life. I couldn’t leave that out. Well, right now I’m single AF and currently extremely “tranquila” about the situation. I’ve let go of a lot of baggage that was weighing me down. I’m not looking for a relationship but I’m definitely finally open to one. That took forever, longer than I’ll admit. I have a clear idea of what type of person I want to build a life with. Until then, I’ll keep on having fun. 

Ok, I’m done. I’m ready for 2020.  Follow me on Instagram if you want a daily dose of my crazy life. 

Remember, when you give good you get good.